I have sex in my books. I do not have abusive sex, non-consensual sex and as of yet not vindictive sex. There are some who feel that the story can be told without sex. I agree, it could. Is it a reasonable argument that sex shapes our lives, causes us to make decisions one way rather than another or influences who we decide to interact with on a regular basis? We are sexual creatures, it is who we are.
Would a young person with same sex preferential tendencies (or opposite sex) develop into a different person based on the dominant gender or views of their household or society? My characters do and sex is one of their forms of expression.
I’m not going to belabor this any longer except to say that the sexual content of my books falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum and is used to carry across some of the plot and have the reader experience more dimension in the character. If you want to criticize it that is fine? If you want to use its presence to not read anymore works from that author then that is your choice. But you know what that means…sex has influenced you and you have given it control.